Life Over Love Page 13

  He sat looking at her without saying anything, just listening. He nodded prompting her to go on. “I’m sorry Mike, but there are some things that you just can’t undo, you can’t take back.” He raised her hands, and she thought he was going to kiss them again, but instead he squeezed them as tightly as he could, the more she tugged, pulling away, the stronger his grip. He crushed her hands in his and held them up to his chest. When she started to protest he only grew more frustrated and listed them up once again, as he inhaled deeply he squeezed tighter still. She was sure that he was breaking her fingers, all the days he was in jail had made him much stronger, and it hurt further to try to pull free.

  When he finally did decide to exhale he forcefully threw down her hands and pounded down on both her thighs. The pain was sharp and severe, his arms coming down so hard and fast on her thighs felt the same as someone slamming an aluminum baseball bat across her thighs, the way people do during riots, she was sure that was how it felts.

  He finally was cooled down enough to talk to her and he said “what can’t be changed or taken back? Huh?! Like you taking my entire family and leaving me on my BIRTHDAY!?What can’t you take back Brianna, WHAT?” He was screaming so loudly in her ear that it was ringing, then everything seemed to sound dull, like there was water in it. He was holding her by the shoulders screaming, but like a maniac because he wanted her to answer, yet he was yelling the whole time too.

  She knew that he was stronger than before, and he hadn’t been drinking so he was also faster. She tried to twist away, to save her eardrums, but he kept gripping her harder and harder. She wanted to be as still as possible, because everything that he’d done so far had been like that of a boa constrictor, and she’d read somewhere that the more the prey moved the tighter they squeezed. Where he was invigorated she was spent. She didn’t even have enough strength for the adrenaline to kick in, and when she wasn’t responsive enough Mike angrier by the second.

  By his way of thinking if she didn’t move or scream or anything, then she didn’t care, and he wanted her to care about everything all of it. How he’d worried, and missed her, and the kids. He’d missed Brody’s first words, his daughter’s first day of school, so much that he could never get back. During times when he was cool headed he could take responsibility for his part in missing those things, but at times like this she was the one responsible for absolutely everything that had gone wrong in his life. The only thing he’d wanted was to come over and see that she’d still wanted him, that there was some tiny bit of love left in her vindictive heart! He grew bored of this, he wanted more from her. He wanted to remind her of how things once were, how they used to brush up against each other at night, and wake from sleep making love. He didn’t want that with anyone else.

  He yanked her up beneath her arms, she grasped wildly around reaching for one of the candle sticks, something anything that she could use in self-defense. He carried her to her room, and at the thought of him desecrating her safe haven, her soft bed, that she had bought with her own money, she got a sudden burst of energy. Surprised by her sudden outburst, he almost stumbled. She reached out for and grabbed onto anything and everything to avoid being dragged into that room. Wincing as he bumped up against her sore legs, she still tried to prolong going in there.

  He hit at her fore arms as she clung to the door frame, karate chop style only with a closed fist, once there was nothing else to grasp, nothing else to keep him out she gave up. She wondered how it would end this time. She waited for the blow that never came, he was still holding her, and she wouldn’t have been able to stand any ways. That’s when she felt him kissing her neck, and caressing her breast beneath her favorite pink dress, the dress that she had felt was perfect for twirling.

  Realizing what he’d wanted, she started to push him away, he’d never raped her before, but she felt him capable of anything now. She would rather die than let this happen, and she was prepared to. He threw her down as hard as could on the futon, and that knocked the wind completely out of her. She kicked at him and he yanked her down, grabbing her waist, he brought her to the center of the futon.

  He held her down pinning her there with pressure on her in the middle of her color bone just below her neck. He grabbed her legs again to bring them around him, she bucked against him then, making him loose his balance. That made him so angry, he blurted out, “what’s wrong with you? Why are you fighting me? Just relax, Bri we can try again, STOP FIGHTING ME!” She promised herself that if she got out of this alive, she would be honest with Ryker and let him know how she really feels for him.

  She felt as if she had nothing else to loose now any ways, and she screamed back in face. “NEVER, I’LL NEVER BE WITH YOU AGAIN, YOU’LL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST!!! DON”T YOU GET IT? I’M IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!”

  That was it he’d had enough, he yanked her back hard, grabbing hold of one arm and one leg. When she continued to pull away, he yanked harder still, and pounded both fists down on her ribs, like one might pound a table if they were extremely angry. Using both his hands, he yanked her back one last time, as if he were a lumber jack hauling trees.

  He her a snap and for a second he thought he’d broken her leg, because that’s what he still had hold of, but when he noticed her hair hanging down to the ground over the side of the bed trailing the floor. That’s when he’d been worried that maybe her neck was broken by the way her head lolled near the corner of the bed.

  All of a sudden concerned for her safety, he ran to her, to see if she was alright. Then he saw the blood, he must’ve made her hit her head on the corner of the night stand. To him it seemed like a lot of blood, and her pulse felt weak. He ran to the phone, trembling, and praying, he called for an ambulance.

  22

  Ryker had a terrible feeling as he drove to her apartment, he heard sirens in the distance and prayed to God that they were not at her place. He raced to her apartment, and never stopped hearing the sirens as he drove through the town, he drove into the apartment entrance, and felt momentarily relieved.

  He saw Mike’s truck, but still tried to remain calm. He was trying to figure out where the sirens were coming from. He looked up the street and saw them taking the same route he had. He immediately flew into action and ran inside. He ran into little apartment straight back to her room, he’d noticed the strewn candle sticks and flowers on the floor, but went into a rage as soon as he saw Mike cradling Brianna’s head in his lap. Trying to follow the operator’s instructions, to stem the flow of blood. Ryker yanked the phone out of Mike’s hands, tearing it out of the wall, and throwing it across the room.

  Ryker was like a mad beast, he yanked Mike by his neck, and lifted him up by grabbing him hard under his left arm pit. He threw the other man hard against the wall in the hallway, “What did you do, you piece of garbage, WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

  He banged Mike’s head against the wall over and over, until he was practically unconscious. It took four police officers to get him off of Mike. Ryker jumped back to the bed room in the back, to see how she was, she moaned and her eyes fluttered. He ran to her side while the paramedics started an IV, he thought he’d heard her saying, “I told him, I told him” but she had passed out again.

  Her little body looked like she been in a car wreck. He said soothingly, “it’s ok baby, don’t talk shshhhhhh, sleep.” The paramedics needed space to get her loaded into the ambulance to take her to the hospital. Mike was sitting handcuffed by the porch and he had the nerve to ask you if she was ok. “Hell no, she’s not ok! They are taking her away on a stretcher, does that look ok? You defective piece of---” Ryker, clenched both his fists and punch the brick wall, he was so out of control, he said “No, she’s not ok! NO! You know what---?!” It was Mike’s turn to flinch this time, Ryker didn’t finish what he was saying , he rushed over to Mike, and he pounded his fist into his other fist, over and over within inches from his face, watching Mike flinch every time and cower beneath him was comical to Ryker. “Look at you. Ugh, you’re pathetic.
” Ryker spit on him, and said “Take him away, before I kill this SOB!”

  The police threw him unceremoniously in the back of the squad car. Ryker rode in the back of the ambulance with Brianna, she didn’t open her eyes for him again, not even to flutter. She looked so tiny and broken, he cried the whole way to the hospital and prayed like he’d never prayed in his life.

  The waiting, the worry, it was all too much, but he had no choice, he wasn’t leaving until he talked to the doctor. The doctor’s stern face scared him to death. He tried to listen to what he was saying. He heard the doctor describe her injuries, broken ribs, contusions, broken fingers, luckily there was no internal bleeding, the blood she’d lost when she hit her head was minimal, but until he knew how bad of a concussion she had, he wanted to keep her in the ICU.

  The first night people started to show up to see her, he wasn’t entirely aware e just knew he’d seen Dominique, Aiden, a little lady with white hair, he was vaguely familiar with Brianna’s parents wondering around. As the hours went by people drifted back out of the hospital. The nurses assured him they’d be out of the woods in twenty four hours. The Twenty four hour mark came and went and he was beside himself with worry and regret. Only her mom remained with him in the waiting room. When they finally got some good news it was going into the forty eighth hour.

  They told Mary and Ryker that she was heavily medicated, but that she could have visitors for a few minutes at a time. Mary touched Ryker on the arm and asked if he wanted to see her first. “No ma’am she needs her momma right now.” Mary liked this young man, and she knew he loved her daughter. She reached up and touched his cheek. “She needs you too young man.” Ryker looked down into her eyes so much like Brianna’s, marveling how eyes so unique and pretty could found in more than one place. “No, I need her, but I can’t see her like that ever again. Could you give her this for me though, when she’s ready I’ll be there, waiting if she calls.”

  He’d written her a letter with everything he’d wanted to say when he was on his way to the apartment that night, he also put some cards with women’s counseling information printed on the back. He hoped that she could get over Mike in time, if not he would settle for her friendship. He wanted her to get better, and he didn’t want to pressure her in any way, so he left the hospital not knowing if he would ever get to hold her close again.

  When Brianna was released from the hospital she was more depressed than ever before. She hadn’t seen her babies in what seemed like years, the door had been fixed, and there were fragrant flowers in every nook and cranny, but the apartment still smelled bad from the burnt pork Mike had left to burn in the oven. She couldn’t look around and not think about the bits and pieces that she could recall from Mikes visit.

  Nothing felt sacred, it was the saddest thing, her little apartment that she’d been so proud of looked like a scene from a horror film. The blood from her fingernails where she had fought so hard to prevent Mike from going into her space, was still bright red on the white door frame.

  When Aiden had shown up at the hospital she was sure that Ryker didn’t love her, she thought he didn’t even care enough to stop by. When she asked Aiden why, he said he didn’t know either, but he just knew he was real broken up about it. Oh well, so this is what he’d meant when he said I’d end up alone she thought. She read his letter, but his absence said it all. Brianna existed in a daze, even though she couldn’t remember most of the fight.

  Her pain, discomfort, and tendency to get winded were enough to remind her that it had been pretty bad. She felt too sad to do anything when she felt this bad. Well almost anything. She got dressed and went to church. Her mom was keeping the kids for her while she recuperated, so she was alone, and she sat in the back row. Everything they’d talked about that day seemed meant for her heart to hear. When the church services were over and people started to congregate in the hallways Brianna got up to leave.

  She stood smoothing down her skirt when she bumped into a familiar figure of none other than her favorite policeman. He’d been overcome with guilt and thought he’d never forgive himself for not being there when she’d need him most. Not seeing her yet, but feeling himself accidently bumping into someone he’d started to apologize “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am, I…” He couldn’t talk, he couldn’t believe that it was her, he couldn’t even breathe. She was shocked to see him there, not sure if he even wanted to see her she started to make her exit, but then he smiled. She smiled up brightly so glad to see him. Her pain momentarily forgotten, she jumped and hugged his neck, only wincing a little when he reciprocated the embrace. Crying she told him that a life without him in it was no kind of life at all. He tucked her beneath his arm, and her head rested right by his heart where it belonged. They walked out of the chapel as if they’d never been apart and didn’t waste any more time apart either.

  23

  Brianna became Mrs. Ryker Danner before the summer was over. As she looked out the bay window of her new home, at her children playing in the yard, with her husband, she was filled with pride and love, crying from the sheer pleasure of seeing all that was hers.

  So entranced was she that Brianna hadn’t heard Chelsea come in until she was there wrapping her arms around her legs. “Mommy, are you sad? You’re crying.” Brianna wiped her cheeks and knelt down to hug Chelsea. “No baby I’m really, really happy.” She closed her eyes thinking I don’t have to choose life over love, I can have both.

  This book is dedicated to the most important people in my life Andrew, Georgia, Charlie, Cheyenne, Lily, Marsha, Bob, and Brandon, without whom my life would be pointless.