Life Over Love Page 12

  She did feel bad for him, she would die if she were separated from her children, so she truly did feel for him then. Brianna stepped onto her porch to wave to Mike’s brother after she had walked Mike to the door. “I’ll think about it.” He left saying “That’s all I can ask.” He left and Brianna noticed something hanging beneath her kitchen window sill when she started to walk back into the house.

  Her pink dress and sweater were hanging there, with the dry cleaning tags still intact. She took it down and looked around hoping to see Ryker’s truck, but he was nowhere in sight. She was a little disturbed that he might have seen Mike with her and misconstrued the situation. Even though they weren’t together, she still didn’t want him to think she was going back to Mike. She hoped again that he hadn’t seen something and taken it the wrong way.

  Ryker had gone to her apartment hoping to make amends. The way he saw it he was going to be too miserable with her being completely removed from his life, so he’d rather be just a little miserable with her close at hand. He was going to see if she was still willing to be friends. He wanted whatever she was willing to give.

  When he got there he noticed Mike’s truck parked outside her door, with Mike’s brother behind the wheel. But he’d thought nothing of it and walked up to the door. He would’ve knocked, but when he saw them in the archway, that was all he’d needed wake him up, and make him realize that it was really over, who was he fooling? It had never even begun. He’d seen Mike consoling her, he saw the kiss, ok so it wasn’t much more than a peck on the cheek, but she hadn’t made a move to push him away, or stop him.

  He was so hurt to see her standing there, not doing anything to stop Mike. Thinking of the way she’d pushed him away, several times at that! It would’ve been too much for any man, he left the dress. He strode past Mike’s truck and hopped into his own, when he’d gotten home he slammed the door so hard that it nearly shattered the window, and it sound like a small explosion. HE slammed into the house and punched a hole in the wall, something he hadn’t done since he was a hormonal teenager.

  He was furious at the whole situation. He knew without a doubt that Brianna was in love with him. He knew it, there was no faking what he’d seen when they were together. He knew that the only thing that kept her from being his was her messed up ideas about being involved with someone. So knowing all of those things, he could not fathom why she was letting Mike put anything of his on any part of her body. Why would she give that guy any reason to think that he would ever be welcome to touch her ever again? Unless she was actually getting back with him, giving him another chance, out of loyalty or something.

  Ryker knew guys like that and was disappointed in her for getting mixed up in that again. He was tired of the questions circling his brain, he decided to put it to rest. He figured she could handle herself and went out to forget the girl who broke his heart.

  The week flew by and by the time that Thursday rolled around Brianna was done trying to keep the party’s venue a surprise. One person can only take so much “Where’s my party gonna be momma, where’s my party at mommy, momma where? Mommyuh , puh lease where’s it gonna be?” She finally relented and spilled the beans. “Remember the gift certificates that officer Danner gave us for Christmas to go to Joe’s Bouncy House?” She almost got knocked down by a six year old. “Yay!” Brianna was loving the lovin’, but regretted immediately that she reminded her little one about Ryker. “Can I invite him momma? It’s only politest thing to do since he gave us the stuff, can he be invited?” Brianna could hardly say no to that logic and acquiesced. “I’ll ask him.”

  She went on her lunch to Ryker’s house to invite him to Chelsea’s party. She didn’t have to knock because the door opened as soon as she stepped up to it. A tall blonde beautiful woman bumped into her while in a hurry to leave, she said “Oh sorry honey” taking a backward step and calling over her shoulder “Ryker! You have company, I’ll call you. Excuse me hun.” She heard Ryker yell, “Come on in, I’m in the back.” She felt the need to remind herself that she had no claims on him, and that’s the way she absolutely wanted it.

  She went to his room and when she saw him she greeted him with a casual “Hey Ryker.” She’d pasted the sincerest smile on her face that she could muster. He was a little surprised to see her, but hey he had nothing to hide, no reason to either. He continued putting his boots on, and she was ticked that she’d caught herself staring at his flexing chest muscles. “What’s up?” He asked “You’re gonna have to hurry, cause I’m running late!” He jumped up and started buttoning up his uniform shirt.

  “Uh hem well, Chelsea wanted me to invite you to her party since we’re actually using the gift certificates you gave us, so yeah it’s Saturday.” He grabbed his keys and ushered her towards the door. “Sorry I’m workin.’ Besides won’t Mike be there? Wouldn’t that be kind of hard to explain to the old ex-husband anyways?” He opened the door and motioned her like a traffic cop to go through the door. She walked out saying “He doesn’t have a say in who I choose to associate with Ryker, I’m throwing the party not him!” They walked briskly towards the cars. “Oh well, I don’t want to get between whatever the two of you got going on, was that all, or?” She was hurt by his aloof treatment of her. “No I wanted to thank you for bringing my dress too!” He had been leaning against the open squad car’s door. He winked and jumped in “Hey really, no thanks needed, didn’t want it hangin’ around the house you know, don’t want to cramp my style.” He wiggled his eye brows, and leaned out the window. “Thanks for stopping by though tell those babies I said hey for me.”

  He spun out of the drive way and patted himself on the back for the best I don’t give a crap about you performance.

  She’d hated being talk to that way by him. He had always spoken to her with tenderness even when he was frustrated. Fine she thought it was only a matter of time anyway, this sure does make things easier. Who wants to be around a jerk like that? “Not me!” She said aloud as she drove back to work.

  19

  Mike came to pick up the kids on Friday to give Brianna a chance to set up the party in peace. He also made it clear that he wasn’t going to waste any time where the two of them were concerned. When he’d kissed her she didn’t kiss him back, a fact which he ignored, and she’d somehow managed to make him think that she’d agreed to have dinner with him Sunday night. She was just not interested in him at all anymore and she wished he’d get the point.

  She was thinking that if she just ignored him, he would grow tired, see she wasn’t interested and move on. He had it in his mind that since he wasn’t drinking, and he wasn’t on drugs, and so much time had passed, that she would want to try to work it out, if anything for the sake of the family.

  The Brianna that he knew wanted the whole package, the perfect Christmas card. What he failed to realize was that when she thought of the perfect Christmas card now all she pictured was herself, daughter, and son. That was it, perfect just the way they were together, living.

  Brianna put everything she needed to decorate for the party, in the back of the car. She wanted to make sure that she didn’t feel rushed in the morning. Everything was ready for the next day’s events, she just needed to get some rest so she turned in early. Brianna woke at midnight in a cold sweat, with a terrible pain in her chest. She felt like she could get enough oxygen in her lungs. Brianna felt terrified and seriously considered calling Ryker, but she knew she couldn’t do that. Brianna drank some hot cocoa and went back to bed hoping to be able to get some sleep. She still couldn’t erase the uneasy feeling she’d had, and she couldn’t help wishing that Ryker still cared.

  She felt and looked like pooh in the morning. After showering and some makeup she felt like a human being again. She decorated the party room at the bouncy house from top to bottom in various shades of purple, by the time she’d finished it looked like it had been dowsed in grape flavored children’s cold medicine. She even wore a spring time violet cotton dress that stopped at the knee, and b
uttoned all the way down.

  Brianna was aching all over, and halfway wishing that the party were already a thing of the past, but it was all worth it though when Chelsea ran through squealing with delight. “Oh mommma, mommma, momma, mommy! I love my party!” The cutest thing was when Dominique came in with her twins the three little girls squealed in unison and acted as if it had been years and not days since they had last seen each other. Brianna visited the other parents and guests, Mike stayed by her side the entire night.

  He was constantly whispering in her ear, claiming he it was just too noisy in the room to do otherwise. He brushed up against every chance he got, and in her mind he was way out of line. Dominique noticed to and judging by the circles under her eye’s and her poor bottom lip, which she had bitten until it, her friend couldn’t handle much more.

  Dominique didn’t understand why Brianna didn’t put the guy in his place, but then she guessed that maybe she didn’t want to cause a scene at her daughter’s party. She was right about that And Brianna was so relieved when the whole ordeal was over. Her parent had left early not being able to stomach any more, but they both made sure to tell her they were proud of her, and loved her before they were gone. Brianna guessed you never stopped needing a hug from your parents every once in a while, no matter how old you got.

  When all the guests had left and Brianna felt like it was a good time, she asked Mike to sit down with her at the book. She intended on telling him exactly how she felt so that he didn’t get carried away. Chelsea jumped and continued to play, and Brody slept on her jacket in the booth behind hers.

  “Mike please sit down, listen I’ve really been thinking about what you’ve said, and I just can’t go down that road again, I’m sorry. Mike my hearts just not in it.” She held her breath waiting to see what he’d say next. “He said what road Brianna? I’m telling you things are different, I’m not that guy, anymore!” He looked around the room and went on talking. “I am their father though, and no matter what went on in the past I love you all, still.” She was too tired to think about what he could have meant by that, because it sounded as if he were forgiving her of something, she thought that was really weird, but then again she needed sleep. “Look let’s just have dinner tomorrow night, you look like you need some rest, I can take Brody and Chelsea another night, what do you say see you tomorrow night?” He held her hand across the table and she said “ok Mike whatever you say.” She was too exhausted to bicker she just wanted her bed.

  Glad that the party was done and over with, she felt better on her way home. She smiled thinking how Chelsea had kissed her cheek before they’d left saying “You’re my best momma, thank you for my pretty party momma.” She’d smiled and said “you’re very welcome, stink head, I love you.” Chelsea had squealed, saying she was not a stink head, she was a sweet head.

  When Brianna got home she didn’t have to walk far before she could tell that something was really wrong the flower pots that she and the kids had painted were broken and trampled on all over her front porch. It was eerily silent walking in because all the electrical things she’d owned were gone. The TV, Stereo, DVD player, her lap top that she was still paying on, all gone. Wow what a great night for Mrs. Jenkins to be on vacation in Vegas. The front door had been busted in, the mattresses tossed, every cabinet was opened, and her things were strewn about the house so that she hadn’t been able to take a step without breaking something else.

  She called 911 and was sitting on the porch when they got there. She thought well, isn’t it just my luck that he’d be the one they’d send, but she was surprised when she saw it was the other officer Danner. They both had the same build, and long strides when they walked, but where Ryker had his father’s dark hair and mother’s amber eyes. Aiden had inherited his mother’s sun kissed hair and dark blue, almost black eyes from his father. They were both calendar worthy.

  Aiden walked through the destruction taking notes. When he had everything he needed he gave her his card, his saw her weariness, but admired how well she was handling everything. She said “I’m just glad my kids weren’t with me. I couldn’t sleep to save my life last night, and I seriously doubt I’ll be able to tonight. I don’t care about any of the stuff they took, I can get new stuff. The way the trampled everything, yeah I feel sort of violated I guess. Do you think they’ll come back?” He told that was highly unlikely, and told him to call if she needed anything. He got another call and had to run.

  Brianna spent the next day cleaning and throwing away debris. The land lord promised to fix the door tomorrow morning and at least made it to where she could pull the door shut. She’d called Mike and asked him not to bother bringing the kids for one more night and explained everything about the break in. She told him how tired she was both physically and emotionally, but he insisted on coming over to take her to dinner anyways.

  20

  Aiden had slept almost all day when he’d finally gotten off work for the night. As soon as he woke though he went to Ryker’s house without so much as even brushing his teeth. He knocked once and went in. Ryker was sleeping on the suede couch with the TV blaring.

  Aiden nudged Ryker with his boot. “Hey, wakey wakey eggs- n-bakery! Dude, you gotta get up, I’ve got to talk to you.” Ryker groaned and turned over. “It’s about the chick you’re seeing,” Ryker said “her numbers on the dresser, she’s all yours not get out.” Aiden chuckled “Not blondie, I’m talking about the pretty little thing with the hair dawn past her waist, you know the one that friend Dominique.”

  Ryker turned around, shielding his blood shot eyes, “You better shut up, I’m not in the mood for your crap today.” Aiden backed up waving his hands “Noooooo, man this is strictly police business, I swear!” That had Ryker’s full attention and he jumped up, looking like Wolverine after a weeklong drinking binge. “What happened to her is she ok?” He’d grabbed his brother’s shirt and was holding his breath, waiting. “Chill out! Yes, she’s fine, physically, but her place got robbed, dude it was terrible. She didn’t have a single thing left in the cabinets, drawers, closets. The kids toys were trampled, crushed, everything was just violated, yep that what she’d said.” Aiden smoothed out his shirt, Ryker asked “where were they?” Aiden answered “She said they’d been at her daughter’s birthday party, and the kids were thankfully with their dad. The thing is dude, she was calm as a cucumber, but she looked about like she was going to pass out from exhaustion.

  Ryker thought about her saying she’d felt violated, and felt awful for the callous way he’d treated the last time they were together. “We got the perps, though, they were the same kids making trouble at the convenience store. Just a bunch of punks, running the streets.” Aiden took pity on his brother, he was real torn up about this girl. “Her door was busted in bro, she’ll be glad to know we got em.” Aiden was waiting he’d expected him to get up, go tell her, to put her mind at ease, but Ryker didn’t budge. “You’re right I’ll tell her I just need a little time.” Aiden was disappointed in him, he needed to go talk to this lady, and stop moping like a four year old. “Dude, you know what that’s fine, if you’re not gonna go ease her mind I will, I’ll be happy to, even dressed like this in my friggin’ underwear and work boots!”

  He was almost to the door when Ryker stopped him. “I’m going ok, you just don’t understand, I acted like a complete douche the last time I was with her, I’m ashamed man. She didn’t even call me, you see? I made her feel like she couldn’t count on me, I just need to get ready, then I’ll go ok?” Aiden slapped Ryker’s face “Stop acting like a pansy, and go to her, I’m sick of seeing you mope around like a wuss all the time, chop chop!” Ryker pushed Aiden out the door saying “I love you too, thanks for stopping by, come back next time when you can’t stay as long.” He slammed the door in Aiden’s face.

  21

  Brianna’s nerves were shot. She was upset that there wasn’t a lock on her door, she was nervous that they might come back, she almost wanted to pack up, and go back to the
shelter. She planned on telling Mike once and for all that any feelings she’d had for him were in the past and that was a closed chapter now.

  She was ready to go to a restaurant, but then she’d noticed he was jumping out of the truck carrying grocery bags. He’d planned on cooking for her. She felt ridiculous in her pink dress, but hadn’t felt like doing any laundry and most of her clothes were all just thrown into her closet so that she could clean up everything else first. Mike was sorry about the break in, but he was also glad to have Brianna to himself, he was surprised when he got inside to see it looked just as tidy as ever, with the exception of the door practically falling off the hinges.

  He also thought the break in was another angle he could use when talking about the pros of trying again. He put flowers and candle on the island, because she hadn’t bought an actual kitchen table. He put the pork tenderloin in the oven, and started to steam the veggies. He’d brought a clock radio and turned it on hoping that maybe they could dance in the kitchen for old time’s sake. When he finished all his fussing he came around the island to sit next to her. Mike pulled her bar stool close to his and held her hands together, to a casual onlooker it almost looked as if he were about to propose.

  “Mike I have had a very bad couple of days, I’m really not up for this.” He was cool with that he understood that she had been through a lot, and he wanted to comfort her, liked always done. He bent down to kiss her knuckles. She looked at their clasped hands and wished they were Ryker’s, he tried to touch her cheek, but she moved away to avoid him. When she’d finally grown wearing of their little charade, she decided to just put it all out there. “Mike, I can’t do this. My heart’s not in it. We are divorced. If you wanna sit with me and talk about our babies, I can talk all day long! But if you think there’s ever going to be anything more than that you’re sadly mistaken.”